humorous quotes

1.Don't always look at the brighter side you may go blind
2.there is no “right” answer, there is only the human capacity to look for the right answer
3.Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them
4.When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
5.When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane
6.Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy
7.Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else
8.I have a drinking problem - I can't afford it
9.Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
10.I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
11.I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it
12.Few women admit their age; few men act it.
13.Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
14. Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
15.I don't find it hard to meet expenses. They're everywhere
16.I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.
17.Life is too complicated in the morning
18.Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
19."Smile... it confuses people"
20.The way to see by Faith is to shut the eye of Reason
21.wake me up when the weekend gets here
.22.I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
23.There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning"